I conjure up the strength to take off towards the mountain. It’s been a month since I’ve climbed it; I’ve let procrastination hold me closer to sea level for too long. Every excuse passes before me: But, what about my endurance bag, it won’t be here till tomorrow! And the boys, they’re doing school right now,and they’ll be pissed if I go without them! And what about the starving kids in Africa! and Co-ro-na!
I lean down and choke laziness with my shoelaces.
My gray Salomon’s smile and ask, “Where to, Chief?”
“Taylor’s ridge.” I answer.
“Oh.”
“What do you mean, ‘oh’?” I cut back.
“Oh, nothing. That’s just a tall order, right? Have you had your coffee, yet?”
I smile. The knobby shoes are right.
“I got some coffee, Brah!” our coffee maker squeals.
“No thanks, I don’t want cold coffee.”
Our microwave winks at me. “Let me take it for a spin, heat things up a little.”
The oven blushes.
Our fridge laughs until it pees.
“Ew, burn.” Our toaster pops back.
I stand there, overwhelmed by my kitchen appliances, while trying to solidify a true, bullet-proof excuse to not run today.
“You guys suck.”
My wife cuts her eyes at me.
Moments later, I chug down day-old coffee, shove a Sam’s Choice water bottle in my pocket, grab my trekking poles, and stumble down the porch steps. My older boys stick their head out the storm door to see what I’m doing.
I wait to see if they’ll muster up a strong enough pout face to prevent my journey, but seeing as I was laid-off last week and we’ve all been quarantining together, they give me a nod of approval, or it might have been them saying to stop staring and go on already.
I squeeze the start button on my Garmin watch and shuffle towards the mountain.
My First Ultra-Marathon: Putting My Procrastination in a Choke-Hold

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