The old man stood in the hotel lobby.

“Sir, if you wish to stay in this hotel, you’re going to need pants.”

“Oh my, Yes. Pants.” The old man whispered. “Could you fetch me a pair?” He asked the porter.

He reached into his tighty-whities and pulled out a $100 bill and handed it to the porter.

“Sir, I–”

“Oh, yes. There is a thrift store two blocks from here. 32 waist, 30 length.”

The doorman looked around in horror.

“And Porter?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Make sure they’re not purple.”

“Purple, sir?”

“Yes. Anything but purple. It’s quite embarrassing of a color.”