This is part 4 of a series titled: The Journey Back to Ultra. These writings have been kept in their first draft form to enable more authentic conversation.

This sage on the internet asked me once, “If you hate running so much, why bother?”

I love running. I enjoy going long distances, just because. The ultra that I did in 2020 may have fried my brain, janked up my leg, and turned to me cross-eyed, but I still view it as one of my favorite days. It’s so cool to measure the distance between landmarks hovering around 30 and 40 mi and know that at one point, I could do it in one day with my feet.

My problem, I love something to death. Like a little girl and a kitten, I smush my hobbies until their eyes pop out. I get what the old timers call, “burnout”. And since the new diagnosis, [I realize] my mania fades into depression. It doesn’t help that I also suffer from ADHD and chase whatever flitters my way, except women, I let them walk on by. [I’m married]

I’ve made my way through too many training schedules to count. Failed them all. That wasn’t even with highly enjoyable activities laced within them. I just couldn’t find the discipline to stay focused on what I planned out. Sadly, instead of doing something else beneficial to my training, I would sleep in or veg on the couch instead.

I would plan 30 minute runs on the treadmill or outside, and when I couldn’t do a full 30, I wouldn’t dare go for 29. That’s only an excuse. I have been a lame excuse.

This next ultra, in November, is going to require tons more discipline and consistency. Thankfully, they have been putting me on the meds I need to succeed. Mood stabilizers for Bipolar-II, Metformin for my newly acquired diabetes, and the ADHD meds are coming soon. It’s a mouthful, but I so hope they will allow me some normalcy and such a non-normal sport.

I’ve had consistency for a few weeks though. Making my goal to walk or run for some distance, any at all, every day. Instead of setting up a complicated training plan, I’ve been using the knowledge from reading all the classical ultramarathon books and setting her up as a go. This seemed to help, and my workouts have been pretty good too.

I’m going to try to pin down a race for certain this week. I will most likely set my sights on the Red Rock Canyon 50K in Vegas (I’m a North Georgia guy myself, but I love the scenery around Vegas).

Thanks for reading my update. What race(s) are you planning on running this year?

More than one? 

Comment below. 😉