My First Ultra-Marathon (Attempt): I’m not ok, I Promise

I need to break this funk. But forgetting that the world is sinking into a crap volcano is hard to do though.  Running on the road or trail for three hours gives me too much time to think. I’ve tried hacking away at the negitivity with the Blade of Distraction for a while, but my brain’s arms are getting tired.

I slip between depression about current events and enthusiasm for the future even less now. There’s not much to look forward to anymore. I keep asking myself, “What if they cancel my race?”, but convincing my anxiety that to stop overthinking things has become a full-time job. 

There’s no time to consider what we’ll do if one of us in the house catches the stupid virus wrecking our world right now.

I would like to imagine this chapter is coming to a close, but I doubt we’ve reached the halfway point in this unfolding saga. I’m not sure of what my plan will be if they cancel my race, but for now, I’m just going to keep running and hoping this emotional tsunami washes over in a little while.

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